September 2011
21 posts
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I'm in need of the longest hug right now.
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Taking risks. →
lloydcg:
I have those natural fears of being fucked over and what not. People have caught my eye, but I don’t return any effort or signs of having any interest of them in that way. To be honest, I’m scared of growing feelings for them. Every time I catch myself growing feelings for someone, I either push them away or stop talking to them. I just need to stop having these insecurities and just...
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I need a blunt.
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I have so many things to say to you.
But I feel like it’s all better left unsaid.
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A view of oneself.
I wish I had a higher self esteem than what I have right now. It’s one of the traits that I hate the most. Who wouldn’t want to feel good about themselves and how they look? Who wouldn’t want to look in a mirror and like what they see? I just wish I wasn’t so self-conscious or have low self esteem.
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Here's to you.
From a third person’s point of view on myself. Honestly, I think I look like a dumb fool talking to you. I wish things would fall into place, but it won’t. I have so much feelings towards you, it’s ridiculous, I just never had it established. I look at my phone and see my texts towards you and I feel like I have to send two texts each time just to get one response from you.
And...
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Moving on.
lloydcg:
You have to think about if staying actually hurts more than leaving. Letting go is never easy, but sometimes it’s for the best. If you aren’t treated how you think you should or deserve, fuck that person. If they give you plenty of reasons to leave, then I suggest you do it. Don’t be taken advantage of and taken for granted by staying, you’re only hurting yourself. I don’t get why...
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I miss those smiles that come naturally.
Lately the smiles that have been on my face have been forced to hide something.
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Building walls.
I’m not entirely sure you’ll be able to understand, it’s a trait that I hate myself and need to work on because I feel like I miss out on many amazing people that step into my life. I want people to understand that it’s not on purpose. I don’t want to push people away, nor not let them in. It’s not even the matter of dwelling in the past, it’s more of protecting yourself in a way because ...
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Too many chances.
Have you ever gave someone so many chances, hoping that everything will pay off in the end, but it didn’t? I just feel like such a fool with all that wasted effort and giving you way too many chances.
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I hate how you don't even notice any of the effort...
Fuck it, I’ve tried way longer than I should have.
I wish someone would show me what a real...
lloydcg:
I know of it, but I honestly have no clue on how it feels like.
dopetasticson-deactivated201204 asked: hi babe :D
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Lloyd Castillo Gungon: Finding an escape. →
lloydcg:
I understand why people cut themselves, drink alcohol belligerently, smoke until you don’t care, and other ways to hurt yourself because I can’t say that I haven’t done any of those to find an escape from reality. Since I’ve stop doing those kind of things to “forget” about my problems and what I’m going through, I look back and find it really belligerent, juvenile, and just simply...
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If you don't want to be in a relationship.
lloydcg:
Okay, then don’t be in one. But stop acting like you do. What I mean is, don’t go around leading other people on, acting like you have feelings for them and make them like you just so you can say, “I don’t want to be more than friends.” And make them feel like a complete idiot.
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Lloyd Castillo Gungon: A facade. →
lloydcg:
To be honest, I have this outer appearance of myself of being mentally strong, independent, and not needing anybody. Sometimes, a lot of this is fake. I want people to think I can do anything on my own and get through so much bullshit without venting to anyone or giving out the slightest hints that something is bothering me. Well at times, a lot of this is just all a hoax. It’s just a...
